i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Two words: blizzard sex
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
