sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize