i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
