I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
