I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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