Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
