Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
