look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
