Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
false alarm. still invincible.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
