we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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