we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize