Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Will exercising make me less horny?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize