Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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