I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
