one two three fourrrrnication!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
