physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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