I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i already hear my dad disowning me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
