your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
