Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
