He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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