Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
