they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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