some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
