dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
