i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
