Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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