margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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