Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
