If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
