Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
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