Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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