my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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