I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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