By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
