nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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