I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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