how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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