? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
