Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
sex in a hospital.. check
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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