If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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