she was so not down for the gang bang
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize