my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
