It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
