he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
