I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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