Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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