I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
