Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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