she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize