Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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