You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
