i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
