if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
