I'm jealous of your bromance
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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