Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
