it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
