i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize