if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
