ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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