if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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