Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
kristin has been a bad kristin
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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