O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
