I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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