Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
