My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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