you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
