I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
