I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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