talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
