thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
