He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
