Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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