I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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