It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I supernannyed him into submission
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
