I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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