I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
