Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
