"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
