Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
